


i thought you were the stripper

by shouyox



Series: The Cop and the Social Worker [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bottom Keith (Voltron), Cop Keith, Drunk Sex, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hair-pulling, ITS WILD, Its just a mess, Keith is a lightweight, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Smut, Top Lance (Voltron), honestly kinda just a crack fic w sex, lance literally works as a social worker but its not relevant, lance was throwing a bachelor party for matt, shatt is a thing, still kinda serious??, well i forgot to put this rip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:38:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyox/pseuds/shouyox
Summary: Lance throws a bachelor party for Matt, a cop shows up, things get frisky.or lance fucks cop keith after partying.[i suck at summaries lmao]





	i thought you were the stripper

**Author's Note:**

> I was literally just watching iZombie and got this idea IDK WHY, BUT I DID
> 
> soo, have this mess :)
> 
> ps im asexual as fuck so like if its bad sozo
> 
> fyi:  
> everyone but pidgey is legal to drink alcohol in this x

Lance was never one to pass up parties, so when he heard that his best friend's brother wasn't having a bachelor party, he wasn't having it. "Come on, Matt! I literally just wanna have a small party where we drink our night away and maybe invite a stripper to grind on us all! You're fiance-whom you _STILL_ haven't introduced me to-probably wouldn't mind!" Lance exclaimed, placing his hands on the marble counter top and scratching the material ever so slightly.

 

"Lance, you know I'd love to, but I don't think Shiro would be-"

 

"Okay, that's it! I'm calling him!" Lance interrupted, stealing the man's phone and running into Pidge's room, locking the door behind him.

 

"Lance, what are you doing?" Pidge grumbled, looking up from their computer screen.

 

"Important business!" Lance yelled, plopping down on the bed.

 

He unlocked the phone with ease, the password being the year Matt met Shiro. He opened the Phone app and clicked Shiro's name, smiling evilly as the rings came through.

 

"Hey baby." Shiro's voice came through, a laugh coming out after.

 

"Jeez, at least ask me on a date first." Lance smirked.

 

He could clearly hear the panic in Shiro's voice, "O-oh my god, I'm so sorry! Who's this? Why- wait why are you calling from my fiance's phone?"

 

"Well, I heard that you wouldn't let Matt have a bachelor party, and I thought that was ridiculous since he is head over heels for you and probably wouldn't even look at a stripper."

 

Matt yelled from the other side of the door, "YOU ARE DEAD, LANCE MCCLAIN!"

 

"What?! I never said that! He can have one if he'd like!" Shiro said, dropping something on the other end and cursing lightly.

 

"Great! I'm gonna throw him one, thanks for the cooperation, Shiro whom I still haven't met!" Lance smiled, hanging up quickly and walking out of the room.

 

"Time to book a stripper!"

 

* * *

 

Lance was arranging the alcoholic beverages on his table when the doorbell rang. He smiled and pranced over, opening the door and smiling at the irritated Matt. "Hellooo, go take a seat, grab a drink. Do not worry, this is just a small get together with our friends, and I may have ordered a stripper. No biggie!"

 

Matt's eyes widened, "A stripper!? I thought you were joking!"

 

"Of course not! Now, chill your dick and go get a drink. I won't let anyone do anything to make you uncomfortable, okay?"

 

Matt sighed and nodded, passing Lance and disappearing into the kitchen. Lance ran into the living room and started blasting Marina and the Diamonds, dancing a bit as he walked around the living room, cleaning up the small messes around. The doorbell rang again, "I'll get it!" Matt yelled, opening the door.

 

Matt came into the living room with an embarrassed hunk and wild Allura behind him. "Hunk! Allura! Let's drink our nights away before the stripper gets here, 'kay?"

 

Allura wooed loudly and turned up the music, running to the kitchen and back with a bottle of vodka, "Let's play never have i ever!"

 

Lance gasped and clapped his hands, "Yes!! I'll go first!" Lance poured everyone's shots and sat back in his space, smirking and saying "Never have I ever been in a threesome."

 

Allura downed hers and Matt slowly drank his, blushing the whole time. "Holy shit, I thought only Allura would drink, matt, spill!"

 

"Okay it literally just happened, Shiro and I were.. curious? So we had a threesome with one of Shiros friends.. It was.. an experience."

 

Hunk was shocked that the small Matt Holt had partaken in a threesome while lance was just laughing, "Fucking wild."

 

It was Allura's turn next, she looked at everyone in the small group and said, "Never have I ever kissed a dude."

 

All of them groaned and said "That's not fair, you're a lesbian."

 

Allura smiled, "Exactly!"

 

All of the boys drank, even hunk, and the game went on.

 

After an hour of never have i ever, and everyone was probably buzzed or intoxicated, the doorbell rang! Lance screamed and ran to the door opening it quickly, only to be faced with a man in a cop costume, "Hello sir! He's right in here." Lance smirked, opening the door for the man.

 

"Uhh, who? I'm here for a noise complaint." The man replied, raising an eyebrow, not stepping foot inside the house.

 

Lance gaped and laughed before saying, "Shit! i thought you were the stripper!"

 

Allura, who was drunk off her ass walked over and said, "Holy shit the stripper is hot, if only I wasn't so gay."

 

Lance laughed and called for Matt to help her get back to the couch. "Sorry about that, what's going on?"

 

The cop sighed, "You're neighbors filed a noise complaint, so could you please turn the music dow-"

 

"MATT!?" The cop yelled, startling Matt, causing him to drop Allura who yelped.

 

"Oh my god oh my god" Matt whispered, running to the living room and screaming.

 

"What the fuck is going on here??"

 

"Uhhh, a bachelors party my dude?" Lance replied, before hearing a bottle break, and of course, Allura had broken her second vodka bottle.

 

"Yeah, we should probably go to bed." Lance laughed, turning back to the officer, "Sorry about this, but uh, how do you know matt?"

 

"He's gonna be my brother in law."

 

If lance had a drink in his mouth, now would've been a perfect time to spit it out, because this ethereal fucking being was SHIRO'S BROTHER. "Holy fuck, for serious? What's your name mister big tough cop?"

 

The cop rolled his eyes and finally walked in, taking off his cap to expose that beautiful fucking long black hair. "Keith. Now, I'm gonna call my work and tell them something came up and someones sick or whatever, and you sir, are going to let me party."

 

Lance gulped and nodded, walking past him and picking up allura and plopping her on the couch in the living room. Keith walked in shortly with a bottle of some concoction in his hand and he yelled, "Y'all wanted a stripper, you're getting a stripper."

 

Keith threw the drink down that magnificent throat, smiling wide and stepping onto Lance's coffee table, moving his hips like a fucking professional, swaying around and then, he took his shirt off. Lance thought he was going to fucking die, he was so hot, but cute at the same time. He didn't have much muscle but he was defined a little, it was cute and so very hot. He continued drinking and dancing until he got down to his briefs. matt was screaming and covering his eyes, hunk was looking away and allura and lance were wooing him on, "Fuck yes, slay me!" Lance screamed, downing a drink on the side table.

 

Keith jumped off the coffee table, clearly drunk off his ass, and onto lance. "You seem to be enjoying the show?" He giggled.

 

Lance nodded and snuggled his head into Keith's neck, inhaling his scent. He smelt like trees, was that weird? Keith grinned and ground down on Lance's crotch, a gasp leaving lance, "Holy shit"

 

Allura was cheering the two boys on while Matt was puking into a vase, making sure not to look at his soon to be brother in law sit on his sister's best friends lap. 

 

The cop smiled impishly and whispered in the cuban boys ear, "I forgot to mention, I'm a lightweight and very easy to get into bed. Especially when drunk."

 

Lance looked over at his friends, Matt still puking, Hunk had passed out on the floor, and Allura was crawling to lay next to hunk. The Cuban grinned and picked up Keith, a giggle drawing out of the cops mouth, and brought him to his bedroom. He threw him gently on the bed and looked down at him, he really was beautiful. He quickly threw his shirt off and crawled on top of him and started kissing him messily, it was a desperate and drunk kiss full of passion. He skimmed his hand down to the cops briefs and cupped his cock lightly, a small breath of air leaving Keith's mouth. Lance palmed at his bulge slowly, licking his ear and whispering a small, "C-can i, eat your ass?"

 

Keith moaned and nodded quickly, "Please- god, pleasee."

 

Lance let out a laugh and ducked his head into the mans neck, "You are such a cutie, you know that?  So fucking cute." 

 

He whined, taking Lance's hand and putting it over his clothed hole, "Here, please, please anything here."

 

Lance grinned and leaned down, licking down his body ever so slowly, god how he wanted to hear the man under him moan, beg, whine, anything. He wanted to make this big bad cop see how much of a submissive slut he was. Keith whined more, pulling Lance's hair, begging without words. Lance finally got to his briefs and pulled them down with his teeth, his dick bobbing out, standing tall and proud. He did a teasing lick to his dick and then moved to his hole. He licked it quickly, not sticking it all the way in yet. Keith gripped his hair tight, whining and pulling it closer it to his hole, "God- fucking shit! Just put your tongue in, please, god!"

 

Lance chuckled and just put his finger in a v shape, spreading his hole and licking inside, reaching anywhere he could. Keith was a moaning mess, arching his back. " _Nngh_ , oh yes, please Lance, please, need- _ughhh_ \- need your dick right now, right-right now"

 

Lance nodded and pulled away, wiping at his mouth and kissing his cheek. He reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a tube of lube and a condom, absentmindedly rubbing Keith's right nipple. Lance poured the lube on his fingers, coating them well and nuzzling his face into Keith's cheek, "Tell me if you need me to stop or anything, okay?"

 

Keith laughed, letting out a pant, "I'm not a virgin, asshole." but after, he frowned and looked in the Cuban man's eyes and slowly whispered, "b-but it's been a while.. just.. be gentle, okay?"

 

Lance nodded and stuck a finger in, slowly going in and out, Keith's breaths being shallow. "You're doing so good baby.. So good.."

 

Keith gasped as Lance stuck the second finger in. He gripped his arm tightly, putting his head against Lance's. Lance spread his fingers slowly, scissoring him open. He stuck the third one in shortly after, by that time Keith was already in the pleasure zone. "Lance, fuck! Just put it in already, please! Your dick- put- _mnngh_ \- put it fucking in me!"

 

Lance kissed him sloppily and pulled his jeans and boxers off, stroking his dicks a few time before slipping on the condom and pouring some lube onto his shaft. He positioned himself in front of Keith's hole, "You ready, baby?"

 

Keith nodded, arching his back as Lance pushed all the way in in one thrust. Lance kissed his hair softly, rubbing his hips with his thumbs, "Tell me when to move, okay?"

 

Lance stayed there for a few minutes, kissing and caressing the man under him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, making sure he was feeling good. "You can- you can move, Lance.."

 

Lance nodded and pulled out slowly, before thrusting back inside quickly, causing a gasp from the cop. His fingers dug into Lance's back, scratching at every thrust. "You're doing so fucking good, Keith.. God, you're- you're so tight, god.. so good" Lance whispered, pulling Keith into a kiss.

 

He continued his thrusts until he finally found his sweet spot. He started going even faster, and he kissed him deeply, sticking his tongue inside, licking every inch of his mouth. Keith moaned into the kiss, pulling Lance's hair, a groan leaving lance. Lance flipped keith onto his stomach, pounding into him, moans and screams leaving Keith's mouth. "Shi- shit! Gonna, _ahh_ \- gonna come!"

 

Lance kissed his back, pounding as much as his body would let him. "Me too- me too baby.." he whispered, hitting his sweet spot one last time.

 

Keith screamed into the pillows, coming all over the sheets and his stomach as Lance dropped his load into the condom. They stayed there for a bit, just catching their breaths and Lance kissing his back slowly. He finally pulled out after a bit, tying and throwing away the condom then crawling under the covers, pulling the cop closer. "You okay?"

 

Keith nodded slowly and nuzzled into Lance's chest, falling asleep soundly.

 

* * *

 

 

"I can not believe you fucked my soon to be brother-in-law!" Matt yelled when he walked into Lance's bedroom the next morning.

 

Keith whined and threw a pillow at Matt and Lance just told him to fuck off.

 

Matt could already tell, this wasn't just a one night stand.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i might do more parts?? would you guys be interested in that?? ill put it in a series just in case x
> 
> i live for bottom keith but if i do a second part i might try and attempt at bottom lance??
> 
> thanks for reading!! xxx
> 
> hmu on the twit twats: https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain
> 
>  
> 
> ps,, this isnt edited, it was roughly finished 30 minutes before its deletion time lmao


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